Sinful Desires Read online

  God, she just wanted to run away from it all and, at least for a little while, escape her mother’s constant pushing and pressure to do more.

  “Rae!”

  A male voice calling out her nickname jolted Raevynn out of her thoughts and prompted her bodyguards to move closer to her. Curious to see who might know her so personally, she stopped between Glen and Derek and glanced in the opposite direction of where they’d been heading. She frowned, taking in the other security guard posted at the entrance to the corridor and, beside him, a dark-haired, good-looking man in a tuxedo.

  She took in his strong, masculine facial features and was hit with a shocking wave of recognition, followed by a flood of memories that were so bittersweet she felt her breath catch.

  “Hold him back,” Glen barked out to the other security guard, clearly viewing this situation as a threat as he gently but firmly grabbed Raevynn’s arm. “Let’s keep going.”

  Glen attempted to guide her toward the exit, but she stood her ground.

  “Wait.” Her voice was stern and loud enough to make her security detail halt, and as she tipped her head and met the familiar green eyes of the man wearing the tuxedo, a slow, disbelieving smile curved her lips.

  “Collin?” His name came out on an incredulous whisper.

  Upon her recognition, his tense shoulders relaxed a fraction, and the grin he gave her was just as stomach fluttering and potent now as it had been all those years ago. He’d definitely matured from the cute boy she’d grown up next door to and into a devastatingly sexy man. His dark hair was neatly cut, his features gorgeously defined and purely masculine. The formal suit he wore accentuated his muscular frame, from his broad shoulders to his solid chest and down to a lean, trim waist.

  “Yeah, it’s me,” he said.

  “Oh, my God.” The joy that wove through her was like the infusion of happiness she needed so badly right now, and she shook off Glen’s hold on her arm and went straight to Collin.

  He watched her approach, a shadow of uncertainty in his gaze, and when Raevynn reached him, she didn’t hesitate to wrap her arms around his neck and hug him tight. He stiffened in surprise, but then his hard, muscular body gradually relaxed and he returned her embrace, his strong arms sliding around her waist and pulling her close.

  She couldn’t remember the last time someone had held her so affectionately, and the seven years that had passed between them seemed to melt away. He felt solid and warm and made her feel just as safe and secure as he used to when she was with him. He also smelled so good—a combination of woodsy cologne and male heat—and she wanted to bury her face against his neck and breathe him in.

  “Rae . . .” Her name was a husky whisper in her ear. “I . . . I wasn’t sure what to expect. I honestly thought you’d hate me.”

  She knew exactly what he was referring to, and it took her back to the exact day when he’d told her they were over for good. That he was leaving for college soon and didn’t want to be tied down to a girl he’d only see a couple of times a year and who was still in high school. Hearing the words had been gut-wrenchingly painful, especially coming on the heels of her giving him her virginity, but seeing the genuine anguish in his eyes as he’d tried to end things had told her those were not the emotions of a guy who’d only used her for sex and now no longer wanted her. No, they’d been the emotions of someone who, quite possibly, had been forced to make a decision based on coercion.

  Her mother’s involvement was something Raevynn had always questioned, but no one would ever confirm her suspicions when she’d asked. Collin had denied that his reasons for breaking up with her were based on anything more than the two of them going their separate ways—him to university and her to compete on Encore. Confronting her mother hadn’t given her any answers or insight, either, other than Joyce telling Raevynn that Collin had done the right thing.

  “I’ve never hated you,” she said, giving him the truth. Yes, she’d been angry with him and the decision he’d made to cut her out of his life, and so hurt by his rejection she’d cried herself to sleep for months. Her heart and emotions had been crushed, but she’d never held a grudge against Collin.

  “Raevynn, we should go,” Glen said, interrupting them.

  She didn’t want to go . . . not with Glen and not to her hotel room that was just another version of a temporary gilded cage. She pulled back and looked into Collin’s eyes, and the regret she saw shimmering in the depths pulled at something inside her that still belonged to him. Yes, he’d broken her heart all those years ago, but in this moment, he felt like the lifeline she desperately needed in a world filled with chaos. After spending so many years under Joyce’s authoritative thumb, and her entire life and choices being dictated by her mother’s controlling, ambitious nature, she needed an escape. A respite from everything currently closing in on her. She needed calm and peace, and Collin Donovan always been that harbor for her.

  She knew her decision was an impulsive one, but she was feeling defiant enough to act on her reckless request, because if she didn’t, she’d look back on this moment with a whole lot of regrets.

  Swallowing hard, she met his gaze, imploring him with her eyes. “Collin, I need you to take me away from here, please,” she said in a voice that was low and remained between the two of them so her security detail couldn’t hear her plea.

  His dark brows furrowed into a confused frown, one that would have made her laugh under different circumstances. “Take you away?” he repeated, completely perplexed by what she was asking.

  She bit her bottom lip, knowing how insane she probably seemed begging Collin to pretty much whisk her away from this superficial life she felt as though she was just existing in, but now that she’d acted on the idea, she was all in. “Take me away from all this. From my crazy life.”

  The corner of his mouth quirked with an amused smile. “Where do you want me to take you?”

  “Take me somewhere, anywhere.” Her hands lightly clutched the lapels of his tuxedo jacket. “I really don’t care where.” And she meant it.

  “Are you okay?” he murmured, his suddenly concerned gaze going to her bodyguards before returning to her. “Are you in some kind of trouble and need help?”

  She shook her head, causing her long hair to swish and slide along her back. “No, I just need to get away for a little while. And I trust you. Please.”

  He searched her face, as if seeking more definitive answers. He must have seen something that reassured him, because his own worried expression eased right before he answered her.

  “Okay,” he agreed, and clasped her hand in his.

  Raevynn turned back toward Glen, who was watching the two of them intently. She straightened her shoulders and lifted her chin as she approached her personal bodyguard.

  “I’m leaving with Collin,” she told him.

  Glen’s expression turned steely. “No, you’re not.”

  She understood he was just doing his job, but she was his boss and Raevynn wasn’t backing down. “Yes, I am.”

  The other man’s jaw clenched as he glared from her to Collin and back again. “Where is he taking you?” he demanded.

  “It doesn’t matter.” At this point, she didn’t want anyone to know where she was until she was ready to be found.

  “Jesus Christ, Raevynn,” Glen said in a low, harsh tone of voice. “You can’t just leave with someone I don’t know personally and haven’t had the chance to do a security check on.”

  “I know him. Extremely well. This is Collin Donovan,” she said, even knowing that piece of information would be relayed to her mother, who would then promptly flip out when she discovered who her daughter was with. “We grew up together, right next door to one another, and his sister was my best friend.”

  Glen scrubbed a hand along his jaw and shook his head. “What the hell am I going to tell your mother?”

  “That I’m on a much-needed and overdue vacation,” she said pointedly, because Glen was well aware of how Joyce constantly pus
hed her and that she hadn’t had any kind of real reprieve in years. “That I need time away from everyone and everything to think and make some decisions.”

  The other man groaned, clearly not happy with her choice. “Your mother is going to fucking come unglued and probably fire my ass for letting you out of my sight.”

  “Glen, you work for me, not my mother,” she reminded him, kindly but firmly. “I pay your salary, and trust me when I say nothing is going to happen to your job. In fact, let me go without a fuss and there will be a very nice bonus for you when I get back.” She gave him one of her sweet smiles that usually softened the other man, but not this time.

  Glen returned his hard, intimidating stare to Collin, whose silent support beside her never wavered. He lightly brushed his thumb over the back of her hand, letting her know he was completely on her side. That whatever choice she made, he was there for her.

  “I don’t agree with this,” her bodyguard grumbled.

  “You don’t have to.” Normally, Raevynn would have caved under the pressure to “do the right thing,” but right now, the best thing she could do for her mental and emotional health was to step away from this stifling environment, and her mother, for a short while.

  “I’m a twenty-four-year-old adult. Not a child who needs constant supervision,” she said, just in case he needed to be reminded of that fact. “And just for the record, I’m leaving of my own free will. Do you understand?”

  “Yes,” he replied, albeit reluctantly, then withdrew her cell phone from the inside pocket in his suit jacket, where he kept it for her during performances. “Here, take your phone.”

  She shook her head. “I don’t want it. I don’t need it.” She wasn’t stupid and knew there was a tracking device on the phone, which defeated her purpose of running away. “When I’m ready to come back, I’ll get ahold of you or my mother.”

  He swore beneath his breath and seemingly realized he’d lost all aspects of this battle with Raevynn. He then glared at Collin as if he were the enemy. “If you so much as hurt even a fucking hair on her head, I will hunt you down and string you up by the balls. Got it?”

  Collin winced at Glen’s harsh words but didn’t back off. “Yes, sir.”

  “Jesus, Glen,” Raevynn admonished the other man.

  “It needed to be said,” her bodyguard replied without remorse. “I also get that you need to do this, and why, but I don’t know this guy and I can’t fucking believe I’m letting you walk out with him. Why can’t you just book a trip to the Bahamas or Hawaii for a sabbatical, like normal celebrities?”

  She laughed, but the sound lacked any real humor. “Because you and I both know my mother would insist on being there, and it would be all work in a paradise setting and zero relaxation, which defeats the purpose of a vacation.”

  Beside her, Collin cleared his throat, drawing Glen’s attention back to him. “I know it’s a small reassurance that requires you to have some blind faith in me, but I promise you I’ll keep her safe.”

  Glen pointed a finger at him. “You damn well better.”

  Raevynn smiled, then closed the distance between herself and her bodyguard to give him a kiss on the cheek. “Thank you, Glen. This means everything to me.”

  “I know,” he said, his tone affectionately gruff, because he was the one person who recognized just how insane her life and her schedule were. “Now get out of here before I come to my goddamn senses and change my mind.”

  Already feeling lighter and more carefree than she had in years, Raevynn grinned at Collin. “You heard the man. Let’s go.”

  CHAPTER THREE

  Like thieves in the night, reminiscent of the way he and Rae used to sneak around to be together when they were teenagers, they made their way out to her waiting limo and slipped inside, then instructed the driver to Collin’s car, which was parked in the underground structure. Minutes later, the two of them were seated and buckled into his sporty BMW and out on the open road.

  As he navigated the street in front of him, he glanced over at Raevynn, who seemed completely at ease with him and the fact that they were all alone and heading who knew where. While he’d seen signs of tension when she’d been arguing with her security guy about her decision to leave with Collin, now she was smiling, as if he’d just freed her from jail—albeit a luxurious one. It was as if being out on her own and experiencing the first bit of freedom in a while, without being smothered by an entourage, had reduced her stress level tenfold.

  From what he could gather from her conversation with Glen, Raevynn’s idyllic life wasn’t as wonderful and perfect as it was portrayed on social media and in interviews, and it didn’t surprise Collin at all that her mother had her on a relentless, ambitious schedule. It had always been that way for Raevynn growing up. Pageants, recitals, voice lessons, auditions, dance classes, school.

  The little free time Joyce did give to her daughter, Rae had spent it over at Collin’s house with his sister and Rae’s best friend, Avery. At least until Raevynn had turned fourteen and started seeing Collin as more than a big-brother figure. Her infatuation had been obvious, and for three long years, he’d resisted her attempts at flirtation, keeping her in the friend zone for a variety of reasons. The most prominent of which was her mother, who always kept her daughter on a short leash, and whenever Joyce saw the two of them together, even casually and innocently, the look in the woman’s eyes clearly stated that Raevynn was off-limits.

  He’d managed to keep his hands off her until the end of Rae’s junior year—his senior year—when he’d finally given in to their attraction and he’d kissed her, which had been her first kiss from any boy. She’d been so soft and sweet and guileless in his arms, melting against him so trustingly. She’d tasted like the cotton candy lip gloss she wore, and from that moment on, his heart had never been the same. They’d both been young, but he’d known Raevynn most of her life—her vivacious personality, how kind and selfless she was—so falling in love with her had been as effortless as taking his next breath.

  And now here Collin was, somehow her savior. He never could have predicted that his desire to see Raevynn after the show would result in the two of them running off together at Rae’s request.

  When they came to a stop at a red light, he reached out and wound a finger around a strand of her long blonde hair that felt like silk, giving it a playful tug. Her stunning blue eyes met his, both gratitude and awareness swirling in the depths. After years of only seeing her in photos or in video clips, he was finally able to touch her again, though he kept things light and teasing for now, until he had a better feel for where he really stood with Rae—other than being the man who’d seemingly rescued her.

  “So, Rapunzel,” he murmured, not surprised to feel his own body respond to how close she sat next to him. “Looks like you just escaped your plush, lavish tower and the ogre that protects you. So, where would you like to go?”

  She grinned at his fairy-tale reference, and while he’d expected her to tell him she had no plan or destination in mind, she surprised him with her response.

  “Do your parents still have that beach house in Margate City?” she asked, turning her body toward him in the leather seat, which caused the hem of her sparkling minidress to slide up her bare thighs a few inches. “The one where I used to go with your family in the summers when my mother would let me?”

  The light turned green and he returned his attention to the road and off the toned legs he was tempted to touch and caress. “Yes, they still have the house,” he told her of the modest three-bedroom vacation home his parents had purchased when Collin and Avery had been kids, as a place where they could spend summers, weekends, and most holidays. It was only a two-hour drive from Brooklyn—close enough to get to easily but far enough away to qualify as a getaway.

  “They moved to Florida a few years ago and thought about selling the place but decided they’d keep it to have somewhere to stay when they came to visit. And when they aren’t in New Jersey, they gave Avery a
nd me a key to use the house whenever we want.” He sister loved the beach and used the house far more than Collin ever did.

  He glanced over to see Raevynn bite her plump bottom lip. Her eyes, which looked so big and dramatic framed by her heavy stage makeup, were filled with hope. “Do you think we could go there for a few days? If not, I totally understand,” she amended on a rush of breath, as if realizing how forward her request was. “I just don’t want to go somewhere that my mother can track me down or where fans can recognize me and I have to stay holed up in a room, like a hotel. I’d really prefer to stay at a place that is more private and where I don’t feel so . . . confined and isolated.”

  The quiet, hesitant way she said those two last words gave Collin enough insight to her current state of mind and her need for privacy and seclusion on her own terms. If he had the ability to offer her some kind of downtime and breathing space, then he was going to provide it.

  “Sure, we can go there,” he said, and steered the car toward New Jersey.

  “Thank you,” she said, her tone grateful. “And I don’t mean to assume that you can just take time off from your life and job to look after me. You could drop me off at the house if you’d like, and I swear when I leave I’ll make sure it looks like I was never there.”

  Collin wasn’t about to pass up the opportunity to spend time alone with Raevynn. He honestly believed the opportunity had presented itself for a reason, for them to at least take the time to resolve the past, for both of their sakes.

  “I’m not going to leave you alone, without transportation or a phone,” he said, giving her a quick, meaningful glance before training his eyes ahead again. “I promised Glen I’d keep you safe and I’m very attached to certain body parts, so you’re stuck with me for now.” He’d call work first thing Monday morning and take a few vacation days, of which he had plenty accumulated, so he knew it wouldn’t be an issue. He rarely took time off for himself.